Saturday, August 13, 2011

Confessions of an Altoholic

"OMFG, what am I going to play tonight?!"

Choosing is SrsBzns!
 Is this you? It's me. So very much me. I could tell you how many characters I play, but looking them up in order to remind myself will more than likely lead to yet another. At the time of this post I don't have many of them listed on the 'My Characters' section of the page.

Not even close to all of them.

 In fact, in order to keep the number self-respectfully low, I don't consider a re-roll an 'alt' until the ripe level of 40. Even with this limitation, I would be able to wipe my own five-mans. In multiple dungeons simultaneously, if you're not choosy about rested XP bonuses or minor balance issues. I can wipe them all.

 I'm not very good, you see. I cannot Tank my way through toilet paper dolls and wet origami. A story for another post, this, but don't hold your breath. I just rolled two more.

 I have 85's, three to be exact. I have spent very little time on each of them since reaching the level cap, choosing instead to roll more. And more. I thoroughly enjoy the act of creating a character. I have a number of stimuli that spur the creation process, like talking about a Battle Ground over lunch with a good buddy of mine, or watching a Warlock walk by me in Silvermoon.

I will not re-roll anything to do about Justin Beiber. Sorry America, we had to send him somewhere.

 I will roll a new alt based on an idea that comes to me while watching my little Dachshund bringing forth his instinctive inner beast rolling around on top of his doggie food. I will roll up a new alt after dripping icecream sluppie (a Screamer, if you will) down the front of my 'Tea Bag' T-shirt form Pure It really doesn't take much.

A short side note here: both of the aforementioned actions happened during the re-roll of this post.

 Make no mistake, I do enjoy the Triple Threat at the top of the level ladder. They are, after all, characters I have rolled, which makes them the Joy Formidable as far as I'm concerned. I do spend quite a bit of time with each character in their chosen role. One is PvP (a Hunter), and the other two are Healers (Druid and Priest).

The Chosen One
 Maybe its the Chosen Role that lead me down this road of Forever More, quoth the Raven. I always picture what the character is going to be doing, his career, much before the appearance is applied. I have alts specifically for Healing, for PvP, for Questing, and for Farming.

At this point in my moment of clarity I will look across the room and pray it is not empty.

 I think the term 'Altoholic' is too vague, personally. I use it for now, as it is generally accepted and understood by the masses (read: General Forums, that land where good threads go to die). To me however, it implies that one has a problem or addiction. It implies negativity. As I don't believe this is the case, be it denial or no, I would like to introduce a new term:

Character Creation Operational Specialist. Epic.
I do own one.
"Oh hey, nice ! hat. Do you play WoW?"

"Why yes I do."

"Sweet, me too. Listen, what do you play? Me and my buddy have this guild and we were wondering..."

"Hold up, noobaphone. I'm a CCOS. I play many characters, not one."

"Ok. Great. Well, ahh, it looks like I have to go punch puppies, you take care now."

"Farewell, young mononoob. Have fun referring to yourself in the singular."

 There are some drawbacks to being an Alto... (ahem) CCOS. As you may well imagine, it can take some considerable time to level Brittany Spears' Entourage in toons. The same can be said about managing multiple alts and remembering all the well laid out plans for said alts (read: mass confusion and hysteria, very like Ms. Spears herself).

 Though admittedly there have been times when I questioned myself on past decisions made in character development, now I handle all things CCOS like a pro. I have learned a ton about managing my alts, and gathered vast experience about the practise and handling of multiple fledgling characters.

Mr. Pink. Pro.
Add-on: Altoholic. Like a Boss.

 Without it I would be completely lost. Even though I can barely make the add-on function, it is the most useful instrument of its type. Ever. May the light of Elune shine down on its programmers forever. Like. A. Boss. This lovely e-machine just reminded me that Northrend Inscription Research will be ready in 15 minutes (Nirnroots on Blanazzar). How cool is that? Cool enough to be pro and wrap this up, says I.

What does one do with all these characters? We love them.

 Many others of the CCOS will agree that what makes a character special is not the purps for derps, its not the uber high numbers on World of Epeens, nor is it the total DB's in BG's. Its the characters themselves, in Greys, Whites and Greens. Its the unmistakable epicness in personality that makes that character you. It's what you take out in memories in return for your labor of love deposits from the National Bank Alts of Azeroth.

Stay classy Altoholics. Er. CCOS. Whatever.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

New Player Forums, the Regulars, and you. Yes you, Nooblette.

Blue Foot Booby - Its Close
First off, I'm gonna throw out this little factoid about myself.

 I am a New Player Help and Guides Forums Poster Noobie.

You can find me on the World of Warcraft Community site posting in the aforementioned Forums. There I respectfully defer to the posters that have been posting helpful tricks and tips for a long, long time.

Do you know how I know they've been there for a while? I read them.

I read the Forums quite often, and I have read them for quite some time. I tragically started to post in General as soon as the new Cataclysm Site was up. All the while I read the New Player forums trying to get a feel for whom posted within, and how they did it.

I got to know the Regulars there, and though they had yet to meet me, I felt as if I knew how they viewed the world. Of Warcraft. Specifically how these walking bastions of patience, knowledge and wit went about helping their newer peers begin their own journeys in Azeroth.

I learned that Forum regulars do not, in fact, hatch from eggs. This is very important, take notes.

The present finds me posting quite regularly in New Player, and I feel that I might be accepted by this group of people that spends a good portion of their day volunteering their time and experience to others. Though I have what I think is good standing with them, I still don't post nearly as often as they do, I only do so when I know for certain what I have to offer is concise, and I take constructive criticism from this select few when offered.

I have never started some sort of New Player e-catfight with any of them. I don't plan on it either. No, seriously, I mean it.

But alas, some do not feel as I do.

I have noticed a disturbing trend as late. Perhaps it is just me but it seems some posters have been hopping into New Player and nit-picking with many of the regulars and their posts. What the intent to this is not clear to me. I, err, am not, ummmmm, Columbo. I don't have within me the instinct to ridicule others solely to see text on teh interwebs
with my signature attached to it.

What the #%&@ is this?

I am very well aware of the cynical view on the internets current anonymus void personality trends. I get 4-chan, in fact I find some of that rubbish amusing. But if you would like to start some #$&@(and just because you read comic books doesn't mean you can't, very true), try General. Posters there are itching for nonsense of all flavours, like crack-heads at a Ben & Jerry's Meth Shop.

I would never say that anyone has to like everyone they meet (or read, for that matter). I would seldom say anyone has to be nice to everyone they meet (again with the reading), though they should try. I do say to anyone this:

 Try to exercise some perspective, Angst Pilot.

Try to nice with the words already.
I mean come on. I sympathize that Kurt Cobain is dead and they keep releasing his long forgotten music in an attempt to turn a nickel and you got all his original stuff, and it's so deep, and what they're doing is so so tragic, Curt would be rolling in his grave, or whatever. But that isn't at the fault of New Player regulars.

Side Note: For the record I like Nervana. don't hate.

Your deal, it needs getting over with. Nothing helps a newer player more than a regular and some Unenchanted cross speccing Deeps Clown coming to a head to head showdown right in the middle of a brand new experience.

If players are volunteering themselves to others solely to help, let them do their thing.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Who's that Girl?

Chances are really good it's me. I'm a dude.

Nirnroots - 85 Disc Priest on Balnazzar
A great many characters I roll are female, for varying reasons. Stupid reasons to be sure, but they help me sleep at night. Examples might be Priests are Healers, and Healers are Rosa, from FFIV.  Along the same lines, Warlocks are Summoners, and Summoners are Rydia, from the same title in the FF series.

Thats pretty much it, besides one last, very important reason.

It's not so personal. It's shared by other players (read: millions). I know this 'cause I asked my buddy, and he said 'Hellz Yeah', and if two dorks agree, it must be true. So I will post it on teh interwebs: Draenei Males are Total Douches.

Lets throw Human Males in there too. And Kaldorei. And Sin'dorei.  Let me be perfectly clear:

The above Male Races = Douche. Bags. The Core Four. Mannus Mochilas Douchus.

I am not one to subscribe to douchebaggery. I am well aware that the Blog title makes me a liar. I am also fully aware of judging a book by its glass stones, or whatever. It makes little difference to me, I cannot roll me up a Male Douche and begin my adventures. 

Male Dwarf Hamster - Cool

Dwarves are cool, Gnomes are OK (I guess), and Worgen are cool. Undead are cool, Trolls are cool (and there's nothing you can do about it), and Tauren are very cool. Of these races, I have many Male Characters, and will most likely make many more.

But 24 slot Bags of Infinite Douche? Nope.

When the next time comes, and some General Genius decides its time to start up this topic again, you be sure to point him (or her, or him as her) right here. 

Should I sign this thing?

Hey, what is this? I don't even...



Quite the little Artifact I found grinding out Archeology in my desk at work. I wonder what race this belongs to?

Of Blog's and Men

So this is it.

I have been thinking of creating a Blog for quite some time now.

Problem: Lazy


Now that I have it up and running I find myself with a lack of topics. So let this be the first, topic of nothing, with more literary waste on the horizon.

As soon as I can think of something.

Stay tuned, I'm certain I can come up with an idea or two to ramble on about. They tell me to keep my emails shorter at work. I need to work with that energy.

Look out Five-man whiners and Forums Douchebags.

LastXunn made his own Blog. Which you will not read.

Shameless posting of mah Doggie, aptly named Sauron:

He's a Six pounder.