Confessions of an Altoholic

"OMFG, what am I going to play tonight?!"

Choosing is SrsBzns!

 Is this you? It's me. So very much me. I could tell you how many characters I play, but looking them up in order to remind myself will more than likely lead to yet another. At the time of this post I don't have many of them listed on the 'My Characters' section of the page.

Not even close to all of them.

 In fact, in order to keep the number self-respectfully low, I don't consider a re-roll an 'alt' until the ripe level of 40. Even with this limitation, I would be able to wipe my own five-mans. In multiple dungeons simultaneously, if you're not choosy about rested XP bonuses or minor balance issues. I can wipe them all.

 I'm not very good, you see. I cannot Tank my way through toilet paper dolls and wet origami. A story for another post, this, but don't hold your breath. I just rolled two more.

 I have 85's, three to be exact. I have spent very little time on each of them since reaching the level cap, choosing instead to roll more. And more. I thoroughly enjoy the act of creating a character. I have a number of stimuli that spur the creation process, like talking about a Battle Ground over lunch with a good buddy of mine, or watching a Warlock walk by me in Silvermoon.

I will not re-roll anything to do about Justin Beiber. Sorry America, we had to send him somewhere.

 I will roll a new alt based on an idea that comes to me while watching my little Dachshund bringing forth his instinctive inner beast rolling around on top of his doggie food. I will roll up a new alt after dripping icecream sluppie (a Screamer, if you will) down the front of my 'Tea Bag' T-shirt form Pure Pwnage.com. It really doesn't take much.

A short side note here: both of the aforementioned actions happened during the re-roll of this post.

 Make no mistake, I do enjoy the Triple Threat at the top of the level ladder. They are, after all, characters I have rolled, which makes them the Joy Formidable as far as I'm concerned. I do spend quite a bit of time with each character in their chosen role. One is PvP (a Hunter), and the other two are Healers (Druid and Priest).

The Chosen One

 Maybe its the Chosen Role that lead me down this road of Forever More, quoth the Raven. I always picture what the character is going to be doing, his career, much before the appearance is applied. I have alts specifically for Healing, for PvP, for Questing, and for Farming.

At this point in my moment of clarity I will look across the room and pray it is not empty.

 I think the term 'Altoholic' is too vague, personally. I use it for now, as it is generally accepted and understood by the masses (read: General Forums, that land where good threads go to die). To me however, it implies that one has a problem or addiction. It implies negativity. As I don't believe this is the case, be it denial or no, I would like to introduce a new term:

Character Creation Operational Specialist. Epic.

.......

I do own one.

"Oh hey, nice ! hat. Do you play WoW?"

"Why yes I do."

"Sweet, me too. Listen, what do you play? Me and my buddy have this guild and we were wondering..."

"Hold up, noobaphone. I'm a CCOS. I play many characters, not one."

"Ok. Great. Well, ahh, it looks like I have to go punch puppies, you take care now."

"Farewell, young mononoob. Have fun referring to yourself in the singular."

........

 There are some drawbacks to being an Alto... (ahem) CCOS. As you may well imagine, it can take some considerable time to level Brittany Spears' Entourage in toons. The same can be said about managing multiple alts and remembering all the well laid out plans for said alts (read: mass confusion and hysteria, very like Ms. Spears herself).

 Though admittedly there have been times when I questioned myself on past decisions made in character development, now I handle all things CCOS like a pro. I have learned a ton about managing my alts, and gathered vast experience about the practise and handling of multiple fledgling characters.

Mr. Pink. Pro.

Add-on: Altoholic. Like a Boss.

 Without it I would be completely lost. Even though I can barely make the add-on function, it is the most useful instrument of its type. Ever. May the light of Elune shine down on its programmers forever. Like. A. Boss. This lovely e-machine just reminded me that Northrend Inscription Research will be ready in 15 minutes (Nirnroots on Blanazzar). How cool is that? Cool enough to be pro and wrap this up, says I.

What does one do with all these characters? We love them.

 Many others of the CCOS will agree that what makes a character special is not the purps for derps, its not the uber high numbers on World of Epeens, nor is it the total DB's in BG's. Its the characters themselves, in Greys, Whites and Greens. Its the unmistakable epicness in personality that makes that character you. It's what you take out in memories in return for your labor of love deposits from the National Bank Alts of Azeroth.

Stay classy Altoholics. Er. CCOS. Whatever.