Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thank you, iPhone!

Oh sweet technology, how do I love thee?

From my sick iPhone, that's how! Just a short post to try this new app out, then back to work.

Rejoice. LastXunnWord has entered a new age of mobility, perfect for the geek on the go.

To be continued...

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Did he just call me...

 A Mega-Nerd?

 Seriously? In the World of Warcraft community forums for Mists of Pandaria? Is a Mega-Nerd better or worse than a regular nerd, or geek, or pseudo-nerd?

 Wait... lets read this again... something something mega-nerds play Warcraft III something. Oh. Well I never had the good fortune to play Warcraft III, so I guess I am not a Mega-Nerd. I'm not sure whether I should be happy or sad about that.

 Whatever. I'm not too worried as this poster at one point misspelled Mega-Nerd. I apologize to you, Reader, for not posting a link or citation you might verify, but trust me you're not missing anything.

Not Pandas
 Besides the amusing Mega-Nerd comment, there was absolutely nothing worth reading in the thread. Nor was there much else to read in the entire MoP forum the Day Azeroth Stood Still, the day Blizzard released the first bits on the much anticipated next expansion, Mists of Pandaria(MoP).

 I'm talking about the MoP Forums, and you can find them here.

 As far as I can tell, these forums released at the opening or shortly after the opening ceremonies at Blizzcon. If you weren't at work (not working) and browsing the community site, it was at this point our brightest shining stars rocked the new forums with their most poignant interwebs opinions and game critiques.  In this explosion, the like of which will never be seen again, the spelling and grammar sent Learn to Spell back to the Dark Ages.

Destroyer of Worlds
 Pandas destroy everything from Commas to the Game, and if you believe these new Forums, they will destroy you too! Insert: But I for one, welcome our new Panda Overlords.

 I'm not here to give yet another speil on the Panda's or Pokewow or whatever. I have looked at all the features released so far, but not enough for me to head one way or the other. To be frank, if anyone can make Giant Humanoid Panda Badass, it's Blizzard. Much in the way of the humanoid Cows and the Space Goat.

You wanna know what I'm saying here? You. Guys. Are. Fucking. Nuts.

 Not the eight or nine people who actually read this blog. Seriously you all are teh awesome! I mean all the players getting bent out of shape over Pandas, Srs Bzns, and the Non-combat WoW Pets combat system . Honestly, we need to take a step back and remember what we're doing here, and I can tell you it's not ducking bullets and saving lives. We play games.

 I get passion. I get you and your involvement in the game world, Emo Pete, I really do. But can you tell me the societal and theological differences between walking, talking cows and walking, talking Pandas? Don't lie to me, I know you can't do it. You just need to be heard. And I get that too.

I mean, I write this blog, and it really hasn't 'said' anything at all yet, has it?

 Being a voice, however, doesn't grant you license make a mockery of common sense and good taste. "Mega-Nerds can haz their Pandas, I will go play SWTOR with the sweet Giant Talking Humanoid Squid" This is what you're telling people, in a public forum, for anyone to come along and read. Preserved for posterity like polished bronze feces. Good work, Hoss.

 It's a TRAP! This boggles the mind. How do you live with yourselves? How can you justify irrational squid on panda hate like this? It's bloody racism, that's what that is. High fantasy sci-fi racism at its best, may Tolkien have mercy on all your souls.

 It appears Pandas aren't serious enough to be played by mature adults. Insert: this Srs Bzns bit is my personal favourite, watch out! There is no way on this blue planet to describe how sad this statement makes me other then /wrists. Only a complete moron with nothing rooted in reality can say this with all sincerity.

 "I can't play Pandas cause it's kids stuff!"

 This Rhodes scholar later went on to complete a Heroic on his Tauren Hunter. You know who you are. What you don't know, because you have no friends to tell you, is you're a douche. And stoopid and cannot spell good.

 I really could go on forever. I appreciate a good head-to-desk post with all the delicious irony that urging others who may or may not read and write to be nice to each by calling them douchebags, but I get distracted really... wait? Wat?

 I also think at this point you might be thinking "LastXunn, why U so mad bro?" I'm not, but since your asking, my answer is a little angst mixed into this primordial ooze of sarcasm is justified in this instance. While we're about it, stop calling me a noob. I'm not new. You're a noob, so there!

Wait. Stop. Sorry. Insert: Keep it together, Xunn.

Let me drop some plates on you fine readers who've made it this far.

 First: Stay in school. Truth. I predict, conservatively, 40% of WoW players are English speaking players. From those numbers we can estimate approximately 1% can actually reed and rite englesh. Seriously, the forums are atrocious. Although I made all this up,you should still be ashamed, what ever your age or background. Insert: Grammar and Spelling are Srs Bzns! 

ummm... the heck? I said no drugs!
 Second: Stop taking Drugs before posting. Even if it 'helps' your grammar and spelling, inebriated posting is not cool. No where in the Code of Conduct does it strictly state not to use illicit narcotics, but lets use our heads here. Make a point we all can understand without Crystal Meth. Keep it relevant and on topic.

 Thirdsies: Do I, or do I not, want to be a Mega-Nerd and how do I go about obtaining or shedding this cloak of awesomesauce or shroud of bronzestreaks?

 Lastly: For the love of the Light, relax. If WoW is your life, and Pandas are descending to destroy said life, read a book. Or go for a walk, off a pier. Or whatever it takes to remove yourself from this prison you're in. It is not healthy. It says right on the load screen to take everything in moderation, and this includes World of Warcraft and Cheetos. Nothing about WoW should have rational players running to the forums to scream at other players.

Chill out, brah. Umad.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Requiem for a Gnarly Dream.

I had the craziest dream the other night. It was something else. Messed. Up.

Let me tell you how this relates to World of Warcraft, and you might learn a little about me in the telling. Before we get into the dream itself, you know about something else that's happening in my life right now.

I'm quitting smoking.

Inorite? I'm using the Patch for this, and "Vivid Dreams" was listed as one of the many possible side effects. They mentioned nothing of the super-surreal-acid-in-the-mushroom-coke-brownie manga dreams I had just the other night.
This is a close as I can make myself
post a Human on my Blog.

The Dream

So here I am. I am a Paladin.

Clearly it was a dream, because I was Human. Weird, right? Human... sorry I digress.

So I'm a Paladin, and along with many other Paladins, (whom looked very much like an assortment of co-workers and friends of mine) I'm fighting the 'Shadow'. Spooky stuff, I guess. Words cannot describe our determination and commitment to overcome the awe and dread brought on by the 'Shadow', whatever the 'Shadow' might be.

Besides, well.. those words. And stuff. Again I digress.

So here I am, a Paladin, with many other Paladins, and we're fighting the 'Shadow'. We all have the sickest looking black platemail armour. With the spikes and the shiny and the spikes and the awesome. And we have weapons, mine being this giant bastard sword with runes that Smites like Mjolnir and Shines like Justice. Or a lightsaber. And we have horses. Totally badass black war stallions of death, with the glowing red eyes and the nostrils with the steam and the spikes. That is to say, everyone has these horses but one poor, wretched soul.


omfg I can't ride this thing.
I have a pony. She is brown and disappointing.


So I'm a Paladin, a Warcraft Paladin, warrior of the Light with all the super skills of buttkickery needed to tackle the 'Shadow', of which I think is nearby, and requires an examination by Doctor Light-Brings-the-Pain-Points! (pssst... that's me) Basically I have no idea what this 'Shadow' is up to or where I can reach them to deliver the Light or whatever. It's like most dreams, in that they feel no desire to explain themselves to little ol' me.

If there is a narrator of my dreams, he is disgustingly lazy, like this pony. Digress.exe

So as a Paladin I do know that it is imperative that I impart onto the 'Shadow' some justice and fare-thee-well-thanks-for-the-wonderful-evening-thunderclap-to-the-face back kicks. But I cannot do this from the saddle of my faithful unsatisfactory steed, Mr. Crappony. I need to find a new mount before I can go off into battle, for victory and sweet phat lootz. Drops like the World has never seen before, and battles like the world has seen lots of times in films such as Lord of the Rings and Star Wars and Saving Private Ryan. Sweet.

That last one, the part where the Sarge gets a bullet right in the buttocks and dies and stuff is really sad. Very much like my depressing pony.

Fun Fact: Phat is spelled correctly, Lootz is not. Go-go wavy red line.

So I'm this Paladin, in a dream I had just the other night. I have the sorriest excuse for a pony, ever, and I'm more than certain at this point (in the dream) there is a ribbon tied in a bow, of the saddest red hue. On the pony. The bow looks dyed from the tears of the glowing red eyes of the uber leet warhorses my now long gone companions are riding. Without me. Into battle against the 'Shadow'.

I am Paladin. Lonely and riding a dumb little pony. To add salt to the wound, I also am certain that I will not be getting another mount. I think that I might have wondered upon something really cool to ride, like a Dragon or a Zombie-Giraffe, only to have lost it. I don't know. It seems to me that sometimes dreams skip ahead a few episodes within the same dream sequence and you, as the dreamer, are supposed to just 'keep up'. I feel a sense of loss and deep regret. I look at the pony with a mix of pity and scorn.

It's at these times I think the narrator has quit, or is taking a goddam nap. Or smoking brownies. What. Ev's. I think I might thoroughly dislike this pony. Nope, wait, I'm pretty sure. Diggity-di-gr-gr-gr-gression baby.

Hello? Pony, are you there?
So I'm this pathetic pony riding human Paladin of Pain Points and hopelessness. Screw the 'Shadow', I don't care. They can do whatever they want. Let Luke fracking Skywalker deal with them. He has an R2 unit and an X-wing Starfighter. All I got is this mule. LOOK AT HIM! No, the donkey. Seriously look. AMFG he makes me puke in my mouth a little bit. I think I will strangle him with that fracking rose hued ribbon. I bet that thing can't protect him from my de-buffs. Douchebags. To hell with this, I'm outta here.

Stupid camel-pony. Stoopid narrator.

I hate him.

The Moral

Don't rage on bad loot rolls.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

A Long Time Ago.....

So my guess is you've heard the good news. December. Twentieth. Sweet.

And may the Force be with you.

So far there is really not much we know about the game, as far as logistics go. I want to share with as many players I know what I do know, with the hope that maybe we can all have a place to play together when TOR hits shelves.

Here it is.

Many of the players I have communicated with are very interested in the Sith Empire. One player has created a guild already. named Affliction.

There are a few Republic Alliance players within this network, and so not as to discredit my Altoholic cred, I also will be rolling one.

When we have more information from Bioware, I will be posting all relevant news here, so stayed tuned.

Steven Reid: Server Realms Plox :P

Monday, September 05, 2011

Nothing More than Feelings

Disclaimer: I have read and re-read through this post, and still for the life of me cannot put my finger on what dissatisfies me about it. Something is missing, and it still fails to portray my thoughts and feelings about Cataclysm. I will not delete it, nor dissect it further, for perhaps in the future I can come back to it with a new set of eyes to see clearly how this post can improve my future blogging. 

Never-the-less, I do hope you enjoy it, readers.

A quick couple of tweets between some players that I respect and myself has prompted this piece, what you see before you. Unable to fully grasp what it is that I have not enjoyed about Cataclysm, until now, has betrayed my common sense and eluded my critical thinking. I will attempt to be brief, and concise, but I make no promises.

I am, after all an unwashed, uneducated windbag.

You see I really liked Cataclysm, and still do. I thoroughly enjoy leveling new characters (many, as you now know) with the updated 'old Azeroth'. Burning Crusade and Northrend can be painful, but if I can't make the effort to have fun, I tear that bandage off quickly. Frankly I have much more fun helping out in the New Player Forums (of late I have been a little busy for, more on that latter) and running alts with friends.

But it is at 80 I have more than a few characters 'parked', without setting foot in either of the Cata starting areas. I find that right now the most difficult time I have is making another alt go through it all again. Gearing up is causing me to roll my eyes with the 'seriously again?' look on my face. Of my three 85's, two have gear appropriate for Heroics, while the third (a Hunter) is sitting on a truckload of unused PvP gear, of which I haven't seen the inside of a BG since somewhere in the area of the 4.1 season 10 Honor Point debacle. I cannot make myself go any further.


What within Cata changed that may have affected me so? I have never really been much of a Raider, but I do have a Kingslayer (yes 30%, more on that latter too). Though I have not done Arena's, I do really well in BG's and enjoy a good melee, win or lose. Wrath brought me into the Endgame fold, something that I had not advanced to with the BC expansion and Vanilla. Honestly, I was the n00b I try to now help back in the first two expansions.

But we as people, and players, grow. We evolve. We become better.

Have I ever found the game overly challenging? No. Too Easymode? No. Have I spoken a word untoward's Blizzard or World of Warcraft for good or ill before today? No. I have enjoyed that wonderful game as it was handed to me as is, forever more. Quoth the Raven.

But not anymore. It has taken me a lot of introspection, being one whom does not hop on a band wagon and gripe about whatever perceived wrongs have been done to 'us'. It has certainly taken me a long time to reach this point, but really it's a game, and not a life changing one to be sure. I have been blessed with the rare ability to look past how changes and feelings affect me directly, and am able to see a larger piece of the grand picture. I can walk a mile in another's shoes, and comfortably change back into my Airwalks.

This is what I can fit together thus far, to show you how the puzzle coalesces before me.

Cataclysm Healing makes me want to punch puppies.

I have a dog. He is adorable. His infamous portrait of shameless plugging is below. Look at the puppy. That is who I want to punch when I heal Cata normal's! [For the record, and all the concerned PETA follower's, I have not, nor will ever, hurt mine or another puppy. Ever. This is just popular interwebs meme, no?] Healing in Cata became more dynamic, challenging and fun. It sure did.

That is, up until you have to Heal another player, anytime, anywhere.

I get the perception of Healing at the end of the last expansion, I really do. I had an 80 Resto Druid, no need to tell me. Players complained endless (some I am certain unknowingly) about easy modes, welfare epics, and gimme buffs. Some complained the loudest about healing being too easy, too much spamming, or limitless mana. It's in this players humble opinion that many of these so called pro's left healing behind, never truly being devoted to the practice in the first place. But I digress.

Windbag. I am one. If you've made it this far, a cookie for you.

I am no where near the worlds greatest healer, but I am above average. I am one level higher than satisfactory. I have rolled up at least one each of the four, two of which are 85's. I love to heal, and I will heal for anyone. In Wrath. Now a loathe to think of queuing up for a 5-man, healing random other people, and I most certainly cannot heal by myself, running solo, for myself. I will heal for friends occasionally, but after Wrath many of the guild my Main was in drifted, and my RL friends schedules vary. So where does this leave me?

Pugs. Lovely.

Pugs can be great times, but often all it takes is one sour run to ruin an evening. I also don't know anyone during an LFD pick-up. They're strangers. The players from my realm to players from another, from Calgary to New York to Neptune, strangers one and all. I cannot trust that one of them might be the one whom rains on my parade. This will tie into the post much more clearly in the second article, so bear with me. Suffice it to say that Pugs can be a great part of the game, but it's largely not why I signed up.

When Pugs fail, things can go south really, really fast. Not to say they do all the time, but rare is it to see groups form up and try again. What usually happens is this: First some profanities are tossed around, then some blame, then some counter insults, more blame, a rage quit, and finally back to the queue. This rancor is more than enough by itself (and detailed latter), but the why Pugs fail is what I gravitate to here. Repeatedly. Because I am the healer, and I cannot heal. Apparently.

I cannot maintain heals throughout difficult encounters with more than one player doing something incorrectly within them. My throughput suffers consequential scaling with Blizzards high level healing design, and no matter the skill nor practice and experience can I change this. Too many of my comrades die for me to enjoy the game as is, and whether they pull the rage card or not I still feel as though I'm failing, and I long to play at the level I enjoy.

I call shenanigans.

I Refuse to be Party to a System of Labeling and Segregation of Players.

I mentioned earlier that I obtained the Kingslayer title after successfully downing the Lich King. My Guild did this. It was wonderful, gimme Buffs or no. But it took many hours and endless patience on the Raid Leaders part, a RL buddy of mine, to teach the players whom for whatever reason could not play on the same field as others. Different players have varied skill levels, and we all know this.

We did it though. We. Out of the ten people there, five could reasonably make up for any lack of the other five, and we could down the big bad. This is no longer the case, as I understand it. Though I have yet to get into Cata raiding, many discussions I have had over steak sandwiches and helping noobies have left me thinking many boss fights within these new raids will be too hard for some players I know. The five from the example above perhaps? This skill fissure becomes important in the third part of this post, but for now let me describe how it enables players to sunder the relationships and hierarchy of one another.

From what I can tell (and have first hand experience with) is players that can do, have little option left to help those players who cannot. There is now a startling divide between these two groups, and the evidence of how this affects the game community rears it ugly head in incredibly destructive ways. On the extreme, players are at one another's throats, both within game and outside its wall in public community forums. Our own General Forums is legendary in it's avarice, a shinning example when players are dissatisfied with a game, but clearly are unsure how voice this ambiguity.

In the interim, player's quit. Whether that is a certain role within the game, or speaking with their wallets, the result is much the same. We're left with a void to fill, and good people (read: not good players, good people) are so very hard to find. The players left fall to either side of the fence, and begin labeling and counter-labeling one another: Scrub, Pro, Leet, Elitist, Baddie, Casual, Basement-dweller, the list is endless. Greifer's abound, players intentionally disrupt one another's game time, and Trade chat is a sewer, over flowing with filth. Were things always like this? To some extent, yes they were. But with less and less intervention in the form of active and existent moderation, coupled with an ever (until now) expanding population, lately fueled by frustration, and simmered over the flames of humiliation, our beloved community is a cantankerous apocalyptic war-zone with small pockets of paradise. Noob.

Some of that perverse and dour attitude bleeds into me, metamorphosing itself into a negative attitude of despair. Of this I am aware, and do my very best to not let it take me down some dark alleyway, infesting others that may stray in my path. It is during these times I stay out of the New Player Forums, where I would do more harm than good. This aggravates me very much, as I do so fondly crave frolicking in the fields of the nubs. Less with the dramatic you say? Blasphemy says I.

Deep breath. We're getting there, I promise.

I have no conspiracy theories for you about this. I blame neither the community as a whole nor Blizzard for the behavioral patterns that have shed their skin and evolved over that last year. Individually, we're all people, and good people for the most part. I do blame Blizzard in taking no part what so ever with any solutions, be they community driven or internally created. I blame them for taking no stance against the divisions and malice that have become common place, enough so that they go unnoticed in all but the most horrendous situations of abuse.

Most of all I blame the player base, those whom instead of rising up and taking personal responsibility for the actions of themselves and their peers, chose instead to forgo bravery and conviction, to become invisible inside the masses, to become one with the daemon, lest they be targeted and harangued themselves. At certain periods throughout the years that I have been involved with WoW, this shamefully includes me.

In olden days, this behavior was often referred to as cowardice. Uphill, both ways.

I have not posted anything this poignant and melodramatic before, and have edited and re-edited this piece many times. I noticed how serious in nature this post has become, and as that is not how I usually am, some awkward hilarity needs to ensue. Please allow for me to give you: The Intermission!

Player Skill level, from Beginning to End, is Astronomically Different.

Some of my friends lack that spark to play well enough to raid in the game as it stands. I have gone into detail about how I do not need some Human Male Paladin to make this brutally aware to an unsuspecting co-conspirator of fun. Now I would like to continue in this last vein of my angst, solely based on the development of World of Warcraft.

If you only considered levels one through ten, I am a Pro. During this period I can and should be considered ample talent for Sponsorship and entitled entry into the Halls of Paragon. As we all should. Because the game in the beginning is very easy. Now onto end game, post 85, where I could (and probably should) be raiding some of the first, and maybe second, tier of raiding. But I have not, and more than likely will not, because I cannot be there with the majority of my 'friends'.

I want to highlight friends, and say that these people are more numerous in game than in real life. That is to say, I have less friends who play WoW in my day to day life then the players I have met through in-game experiences. That so, there is still some connection, a relationship, that makes the value of these players more so then random LFD Rogue number 5. I know a little about the in-game friends, and I know a lot about the RL ones.

These are the people I want to play with, I want to raid with, I want to run Battle Grounds with, I want to talk to while inside. Sadly, as with all relationships, personal schedules often take away opportunities to do any of these events. This is why I condemn, with extreme prejudice, current game systems which exclude some or many players from enjoying all the game has to offer. By design.

By Greg Streets own admission, retracted or shoveled over, this game is Hard. Really? Is it? How far has the MMO genre evolved? It is if the impression I have had that WoW paved the way into a new generation of game that has done away with caste players and measuring epeens (to which Blizzard openly makes light satire of) never existed. Was I so wrong?

Somewhere in our recent past we dived back into those primordial pools of Amino Acids and Mana, Corpse Runs and Spawn Timers, to re-emerge two steps forward and three steps back. Gone are the days where almost anyone with a dose of effort and the will and patience could see the final events of an expansion. We all could attempt the Lich King. Blizzard gave us all the opportunity to take a shot at the heralded and triumphant villain Arthas. And we came in droves.

Now, someone whom was a raider, albeit a cold one, has yet to see one new Raid. I am willing to wager I'm not alone. Not by a long shot. We can all take a look on one of the many sites devoted to stats and figures and can conclude this. Not as many players have taken down as many Raid bosses in Cata as in Wrath. There are less subscriptions now then there was in Wrath. Players are not satisfied with their characters performance. In short, for many, the game is too hard for the rewards at end game. Some of these 'many' are friends of mine, and it pains me not to be able to play the game at the end with them.

By design.

By design the game is significantly different from beginning to end, so much so that the content of which is exclusive and thoroughly fastidious in its membership. I do not for one want access to hard modes without commitment, do not mistake me. However I do want to roll up on Ragnaros with my friends, and with time and effort, succeed the encounter. Currently I am denied this, and it baffles me to no end. I want to roll with my homies, nothing more, nothing less.

Holy Crow you're a Trooper.

I'm going to wrap this up, hopefully in lighter spirit form the bulk of this post. You may not know this, but I am passionate about the WoW community, the players, and the game. I get upset when things go wrong, not as in a dungeon, but as I beleive they have for just under a year, conceptually. For the record (again) I plan on continuing to play, I have not cancelled any subs, and still very much enjoy playing the content I can with my friends. This is not a subsequent blog leading into SW:TOR, and how everyone must get it. This is just an essay on how I feel, and how it might relate to the community I represent.

Take these predisposed ideas with a grain of salt, of course. I cannot be everywhere in game and community like some omniscient Tauren Lord of Mordor. The prevailing feeling is what I present to you fine folks, after engaging with fellow players, like minded community members, and arrogant douchebags. I am more than sincere in my belief of bountiful oasis' of positive community and game play. I am also very happy to have found my niche in-game, where my thrill for the game moves ever onward.

Once more I relate how much I enjoy helping new players with their questions and concerns, and look forward to returning to that forum with gusto, a renewed (nyuk nyuk) sense of empathy and faith. Writing gives many a sense of peace from telling the world their stories, and I am no different. As to my concerns, we will have to wait to see what 4.3, and possibly (and much, much later) 5.0 bring us. Perhaps Blizzard is tuning in, and the night is at its darkest now, before the dawn.

Perhaps I should give this garrulous post a rest, before 4.3 hits beta, no?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Confessions of an Altoholic

"OMFG, what am I going to play tonight?!"

Choosing is SrsBzns!
 Is this you? It's me. So very much me. I could tell you how many characters I play, but looking them up in order to remind myself will more than likely lead to yet another. At the time of this post I don't have many of them listed on the 'My Characters' section of the page.

Not even close to all of them.

 In fact, in order to keep the number self-respectfully low, I don't consider a re-roll an 'alt' until the ripe level of 40. Even with this limitation, I would be able to wipe my own five-mans. In multiple dungeons simultaneously, if you're not choosy about rested XP bonuses or minor balance issues. I can wipe them all.

 I'm not very good, you see. I cannot Tank my way through toilet paper dolls and wet origami. A story for another post, this, but don't hold your breath. I just rolled two more.

 I have 85's, three to be exact. I have spent very little time on each of them since reaching the level cap, choosing instead to roll more. And more. I thoroughly enjoy the act of creating a character. I have a number of stimuli that spur the creation process, like talking about a Battle Ground over lunch with a good buddy of mine, or watching a Warlock walk by me in Silvermoon.

I will not re-roll anything to do about Justin Beiber. Sorry America, we had to send him somewhere.

 I will roll a new alt based on an idea that comes to me while watching my little Dachshund bringing forth his instinctive inner beast rolling around on top of his doggie food. I will roll up a new alt after dripping icecream sluppie (a Screamer, if you will) down the front of my 'Tea Bag' T-shirt form Pure It really doesn't take much.

A short side note here: both of the aforementioned actions happened during the re-roll of this post.

 Make no mistake, I do enjoy the Triple Threat at the top of the level ladder. They are, after all, characters I have rolled, which makes them the Joy Formidable as far as I'm concerned. I do spend quite a bit of time with each character in their chosen role. One is PvP (a Hunter), and the other two are Healers (Druid and Priest).

The Chosen One
 Maybe its the Chosen Role that lead me down this road of Forever More, quoth the Raven. I always picture what the character is going to be doing, his career, much before the appearance is applied. I have alts specifically for Healing, for PvP, for Questing, and for Farming.

At this point in my moment of clarity I will look across the room and pray it is not empty.

 I think the term 'Altoholic' is too vague, personally. I use it for now, as it is generally accepted and understood by the masses (read: General Forums, that land where good threads go to die). To me however, it implies that one has a problem or addiction. It implies negativity. As I don't believe this is the case, be it denial or no, I would like to introduce a new term:

Character Creation Operational Specialist. Epic.
I do own one.
"Oh hey, nice ! hat. Do you play WoW?"

"Why yes I do."

"Sweet, me too. Listen, what do you play? Me and my buddy have this guild and we were wondering..."

"Hold up, noobaphone. I'm a CCOS. I play many characters, not one."

"Ok. Great. Well, ahh, it looks like I have to go punch puppies, you take care now."

"Farewell, young mononoob. Have fun referring to yourself in the singular."

 There are some drawbacks to being an Alto... (ahem) CCOS. As you may well imagine, it can take some considerable time to level Brittany Spears' Entourage in toons. The same can be said about managing multiple alts and remembering all the well laid out plans for said alts (read: mass confusion and hysteria, very like Ms. Spears herself).

 Though admittedly there have been times when I questioned myself on past decisions made in character development, now I handle all things CCOS like a pro. I have learned a ton about managing my alts, and gathered vast experience about the practise and handling of multiple fledgling characters.

Mr. Pink. Pro.
Add-on: Altoholic. Like a Boss.

 Without it I would be completely lost. Even though I can barely make the add-on function, it is the most useful instrument of its type. Ever. May the light of Elune shine down on its programmers forever. Like. A. Boss. This lovely e-machine just reminded me that Northrend Inscription Research will be ready in 15 minutes (Nirnroots on Blanazzar). How cool is that? Cool enough to be pro and wrap this up, says I.

What does one do with all these characters? We love them.

 Many others of the CCOS will agree that what makes a character special is not the purps for derps, its not the uber high numbers on World of Epeens, nor is it the total DB's in BG's. Its the characters themselves, in Greys, Whites and Greens. Its the unmistakable epicness in personality that makes that character you. It's what you take out in memories in return for your labor of love deposits from the National Bank Alts of Azeroth.

Stay classy Altoholics. Er. CCOS. Whatever.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

New Player Forums, the Regulars, and you. Yes you, Nooblette.

Blue Foot Booby - Its Close
First off, I'm gonna throw out this little factoid about myself.

 I am a New Player Help and Guides Forums Poster Noobie.

You can find me on the World of Warcraft Community site posting in the aforementioned Forums. There I respectfully defer to the posters that have been posting helpful tricks and tips for a long, long time.

Do you know how I know they've been there for a while? I read them.

I read the Forums quite often, and I have read them for quite some time. I tragically started to post in General as soon as the new Cataclysm Site was up. All the while I read the New Player forums trying to get a feel for whom posted within, and how they did it.

I got to know the Regulars there, and though they had yet to meet me, I felt as if I knew how they viewed the world. Of Warcraft. Specifically how these walking bastions of patience, knowledge and wit went about helping their newer peers begin their own journeys in Azeroth.

I learned that Forum regulars do not, in fact, hatch from eggs. This is very important, take notes.

The present finds me posting quite regularly in New Player, and I feel that I might be accepted by this group of people that spends a good portion of their day volunteering their time and experience to others. Though I have what I think is good standing with them, I still don't post nearly as often as they do, I only do so when I know for certain what I have to offer is concise, and I take constructive criticism from this select few when offered.

I have never started some sort of New Player e-catfight with any of them. I don't plan on it either. No, seriously, I mean it.

But alas, some do not feel as I do.

I have noticed a disturbing trend as late. Perhaps it is just me but it seems some posters have been hopping into New Player and nit-picking with many of the regulars and their posts. What the intent to this is not clear to me. I, err, am not, ummmmm, Columbo. I don't have within me the instinct to ridicule others solely to see text on teh interwebs
with my signature attached to it.

What the #%&@ is this?

I am very well aware of the cynical view on the internets current anonymus void personality trends. I get 4-chan, in fact I find some of that rubbish amusing. But if you would like to start some #$&@(and just because you read comic books doesn't mean you can't, very true), try General. Posters there are itching for nonsense of all flavours, like crack-heads at a Ben & Jerry's Meth Shop.

I would never say that anyone has to like everyone they meet (or read, for that matter). I would seldom say anyone has to be nice to everyone they meet (again with the reading), though they should try. I do say to anyone this:

 Try to exercise some perspective, Angst Pilot.

Try to nice with the words already.
I mean come on. I sympathize that Kurt Cobain is dead and they keep releasing his long forgotten music in an attempt to turn a nickel and you got all his original stuff, and it's so deep, and what they're doing is so so tragic, Curt would be rolling in his grave, or whatever. But that isn't at the fault of New Player regulars.

Side Note: For the record I like Nervana. don't hate.

Your deal, it needs getting over with. Nothing helps a newer player more than a regular and some Unenchanted cross speccing Deeps Clown coming to a head to head showdown right in the middle of a brand new experience.

If players are volunteering themselves to others solely to help, let them do their thing.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Who's that Girl?

Chances are really good it's me. I'm a dude.

Nirnroots - 85 Disc Priest on Balnazzar
A great many characters I roll are female, for varying reasons. Stupid reasons to be sure, but they help me sleep at night. Examples might be Priests are Healers, and Healers are Rosa, from FFIV.  Along the same lines, Warlocks are Summoners, and Summoners are Rydia, from the same title in the FF series.

Thats pretty much it, besides one last, very important reason.

It's not so personal. It's shared by other players (read: millions). I know this 'cause I asked my buddy, and he said 'Hellz Yeah', and if two dorks agree, it must be true. So I will post it on teh interwebs: Draenei Males are Total Douches.

Lets throw Human Males in there too. And Kaldorei. And Sin'dorei.  Let me be perfectly clear:

The above Male Races = Douche. Bags. The Core Four. Mannus Mochilas Douchus.

I am not one to subscribe to douchebaggery. I am well aware that the Blog title makes me a liar. I am also fully aware of judging a book by its glass stones, or whatever. It makes little difference to me, I cannot roll me up a Male Douche and begin my adventures. 

Male Dwarf Hamster - Cool

Dwarves are cool, Gnomes are OK (I guess), and Worgen are cool. Undead are cool, Trolls are cool (and there's nothing you can do about it), and Tauren are very cool. Of these races, I have many Male Characters, and will most likely make many more.

But 24 slot Bags of Infinite Douche? Nope.

When the next time comes, and some General Genius decides its time to start up this topic again, you be sure to point him (or her, or him as her) right here. 

Should I sign this thing?

Hey, what is this? I don't even...



Quite the little Artifact I found grinding out Archeology in my desk at work. I wonder what race this belongs to?

Of Blog's and Men

So this is it.

I have been thinking of creating a Blog for quite some time now.

Problem: Lazy


Now that I have it up and running I find myself with a lack of topics. So let this be the first, topic of nothing, with more literary waste on the horizon.

As soon as I can think of something.

Stay tuned, I'm certain I can come up with an idea or two to ramble on about. They tell me to keep my emails shorter at work. I need to work with that energy.

Look out Five-man whiners and Forums Douchebags.

LastXunn made his own Blog. Which you will not read.

Shameless posting of mah Doggie, aptly named Sauron:

He's a Six pounder.